New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login244945 questions, 1084256 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap

*1muds11

Canada  (Male   XML/RSS

Like what he writes?
... Add *1muds11 to your favourite agony aunts

Want to get in touch?
... Send *1muds11 a private message

*1muds11's Ratings
Excellent79%
Average6%
Poor15%
< Prev12345Next > [5 pages, 144 answers]

Should I trust my otherwise wonderful wife who is my best friend and soulmate or listen to the frightening inconsistencies about her moral character?

Q.   I am married for about a year and a half to a wonderful woman who I fell head over heels for marrying after only 10 months. There are some concerns that have surfaced that I really need advice about TRUST issues. Shortly after we got together...

A.   13 December 2010: My Grandfather after getting to know my Grandmother's close "questionable" family and how young and carefree with other boys she was, was also worried. He was sure an investigator would find something since she was spending a lot of time outside ... (read in full...)

Should I write a note to boyfriend's parents? Is that respectable?

Q.   I’ve been in a long distance relationship for about 1 year and a half now. I love him dearly and we’re planning a future together sometime in the next year. I’m working out the details of moving to be with him. Anywho, long story short, he lives ...

A.   13 December 2010: Yes Yes Yes. Definatly write them a note. They'll love it. A suggested skeleton of a letter would be like this. Dear I'd like to thank you for the wonderful... I'm sorry that we couldn't go to Church together but I hope we'll be abl... (read in full...)

I always think about my ex when it comes to having sex! It is ruining everything!

Q.   I am very confused about my sex life. My ex boyfriend dumped me 2 months ago, now I really want to have sex. But every time I am ready to do it, I always think about him and ruin everything. What should I do now? I need some advice....

A.   13 December 2010: For some people it takes a few weeks to get over someone. For others it's a few months. I suspect your in the latter category. But time and experience are a great healer. Don't get down too much about thinking about him for a while. It's ver... (read in full...)

If he only sees me as a friend, why would he go on a date with me?

Q.   My crush told me he only saw me as a friend, but he said he would go on a double date with me. if he only sees me as a friend, why would he want to go on a date with me? Would there be a possibility that he could end up having feelings for me? ...

A.   13 December 2010: Hmmm. Most people are attraction at first sight type of people. But some men are definetly not. I have a close family friend who's been married for 25 years to a partner whom he knew for years, that he had no attraction to. Then one night his ... (read in full...)

After amazing sex I felt depressed!

Q.   Ive had anxiety and depression for about 5 years now,i have been seeking help with my mental issues aswell but besides that im not really sure if this has anything to do with my question. The other night my boyfriend and i had this really amazing ...

A.   13 December 2010: Please don't worry about this. You just have an emotional personality. I too have this happened to me when I was younger. It's just your emmotional equalibrium bringing you down when you're on such a high. It's like a safety mechanism so you w... (read in full...)

She lost her virginity to another guy because I was a jerk to her in the beginning, how do I get over this?

Q.   I have a problem. There was this girl that I talked to and I was her firs kiss. First guy that she ever had feelings for. I liked her to but didnt really think much of it. I stopped tralking to her after about 5 weeks and just left her hanging. ...

A.   10 December 2010: I disagree with anonymous. You can get over this, if you concentrate on her and the 2 of you together. Sex is only one of many components of a strong relationship. You are her first TRUE love. The sex part is not all as important as that. That's ... (read in full...)

Is it too late for me? To have a boyfriend?

Q.   I`ve been feeling really sad lately and could use some advice. I can accept an honest answer, although I really had to get my courage up to ask this. I would like to have a boyfriend, but I`m really scared that at my age it`s too late. I`m worrie...

A.   10 December 2010: I know women in their 40's who are dating like no tomorrow. 31 is very young. Keep a positive attitude and go to places where more mature people meet. 31 years old and never had a serious boyfriend? That's like a dream to many men. No probl... (read in full...)

I'm just scared that she will run and return to being single.

Q.   Me and my girlfriend have been together for 1 year and 3 months. For the past month it seems like shes a different person though. I could feel her become distant and slip away. She was always so loving and caring. She finally told me the other week ...

A.   10 December 2010: Women tend to change a lot in the early 20's. It could be that she's going through one of those times (What's she doing with her life?) and needs a change up. But when this has happened to me before, it's generally been because something occured ... (read in full...)

What do I do with his sweater?

Q.   Dear cupids: There's this guy who I really like; so far we're just friends, but a few days ago we were hanging out and he gave me his sweater to wear home cause it was cold out. Now, I'm (secretly!) a little bit shy, awkward and unfamiliar...

A.   10 December 2010: I would say something like: Hey Thanks so much for the sweater. Where can we meet up so I can give it back? That puts the ball in his court and gives him a chance then to think about you. Good luck!... (read in full...)

Is it worth giving it a go or am I reading way too much into it?

Q.   Ok, so this is the situation so far. I met my now ex colleague while we working together. At that time I was engaged, and one day we were having a chat and he dropped in the conversation that all the guys on our team were talking about which girl ...

A.   10 December 2010: If it's not serious with this other girl than this is no problem. In terms of the friendship part, why would you take a chance of missing Mr. Right? You are so lucky to have a good friend who also finds you so attractive. And if you're... (read in full...)

Parting talk...

Q.   She now feels sickened to look back on our relationship. And whilst this hurts I can appreciate why this is. Being physically intimate with someone means a lot to her, and being her first and then it ending like that has affected her. Because ...

A.   10 December 2010: I really like your lettter. It's the type of sincerity that will get you everywhere. I might change this line it could leave you regretting it all for a good long while. To: It could leave both of us regretting.... (You don't... (read in full...)

How do I tell my ex I can't anymore because my life is not the same. He's too late.

Q.   I want to try but I'm not sure if it will work. I fell hard for my exbf and I put my all into it but he was like whatever. Anyway he broke it off and of course I did the woe is me I can't go on without you. Any I hated him more and more the lon...

A.   9 December 2010: First I beleive you shouldn't consider Edwards feelings over yours. Edward hurt you. And if you feel nothing for him, by not telling him he won't move on and you'll just be both hurting each other. Here's an optional suggestion. Poor your hea... (read in full...)

I'm fed up, but I still want him in my life

Q.   There are a number of reason why I want to break up with my boyfriend; ;Feeling anxious about him due to mistrust . Feeling like I'm not involved in his life as much as I feel I should be (He'd rather introduce his friend to new people because...

A.   9 December 2010: If it's making you crazy like this then something has to be done. Don't kick yourself that you kissed him. It's only natural. Your friend is right. Fron what you describe, he doesn't appreciate you and it will continue to be like this until ... (read in full...)

Am I just missing my ex or could something be going on?

Q.   Long story short, a few months back my BF left me for no reason (his reasons I guess) after that I refused to be his friend or even have comunication. Lately Ive been completly busy, I barely have time to think but yesterday was a good day. Last ...

A.   9 December 2010: I think your answer is in your question. You have been so busy that you haven't had time to fully grieve that this relationship is over. You may have heal the out wound, but you didn't fully grieve as you were too busy. It's a good thing that ... (read in full...)

Fell in love with my roommate!! (very quickly) What should I do?!

Q.   Big problem, please help! I moved in with a guy because I started a grad program at a University in Colorado. I met him at open house and we got along great, we were both just out of relationships and went to lunch and talked for 3 hours after. ...

A.   9 December 2010: I have a simple answer to this one. It's time to move out. Find someone who would like to swap with you and sweeten the deal. Tell your boyfriend that you're doing this because you like him and want to still be boyfriend and girlfriend. You can ... (read in full...)

Got a crush on my manager!

Q.   First of all, sorry for my bad english. I'm not so good in grammar and vocab. :S Secondly, I need opinion on this. :) I'm 23 and he is 29. He is my manager at work, and I have a crush on him for almost 1 year. He like to tease me, and cal...

A.   9 December 2010: I think he's a guy who simply doesn't know how to go after a woman he likes, or and most probably, he likes you a lot, he gets tense and screws up all the time. I think it's time for you to do something. Get him to ask you for coffee alone. ... (read in full...)

I'm afraid of freaking him out if I say those 3 words!

Q.   Ok so this is the thing, I have been in a serious relationship with this guy for 5 months already and we both have agreed that not only do we enjoy each others company but that our relationship is in good grounds so far. He is great and makes me ...

A.   9 December 2010: Sorry for my "male-centic" answer but I thought it might be a good idea to look at it from the other side. Don't worry too much if you accidently let it out as mistakes can be corrected. Just be very feminine about it. Apoloigize profusly... (read in full...)

I don't think my sex drive is functioning like it should be. Any suggestions?

Q.   I've been with my girlfriend for about 3 weeks now, and I notice that sexually she has so much of a sex drive. I, on the other hand, am one to want to do these sexual things but i noticed that i may not feel that much lust/of a sex drive. It feels ...

A.   9 December 2010: Good call on the porn. No more porn for a long time, as you need to put your interest into her body not others. Ya and stop worrying about it. It'll take a few weeks before you get that porn out of your system. But the mind is a wonderfu... (read in full...)

I'm afraid of freaking him out if I say those 3 words!

Q.   Ok so this is the thing, I have been in a serious relationship with this guy for 5 months already and we both have agreed that not only do we enjoy each others company but that our relationship is in good grounds so far. He is great and makes me ...

A.   9 December 2010: I'm one of those people who believes you should never tell a guy "I love you" first. A guy responds to actions not words. So show him, don't tell him. At the same time we're guys. So we use actions not words. If you're really serious about hi... (read in full...)

Tips for male virgin?

Q.   I may have my first sexual experience with this girl that I really like (she's not a virgin). So far, from the things that I've read over the internet: I should take it slow (no rabbit humping), and include a lot of foreplay. Any tips on foreplay ...

A.   9 December 2010: Very important. Yes it's important to please her, but make sure you please yourself at least as equally as much. How do you do that: Listen to the John Mayer song, Her Body is Wonderland. Get youself happy by making her happy. You'll hear her ... (read in full...)

I still want to be friends with him, but I don't want him walking all over me!

Q.   Okay, so my crush used to really treat me nicely and such. Once, we had lunch together and he used to tease and flirt with me all the time. He's still friendly to me sometimes, but now he can't even say 'hi, how're you?' normally whatsoever. ...

A.   8 December 2010: He still likes you an awful lot. I think it's time for a late night one on one chat. You have to tell him that he has to stop doing this. He's only doing it to get your attention and because he's not able to handle his feelings. Let him get ... (read in full...)

Eeny, meeny, miny, mo!

Q.   I'm a seventeen year old girl and quite frankly...I'm completely confused. A few months ago the guy I was in love with broke up with me. I've had plenty of "likes" but never feelings quite like the ones I had for him. When it first happened I was ...

A.   8 December 2010: Your first insticts are right. He doesn't at all seem like to be the right guy for you. There's a reason why K has been hurt. And from what you've said, he seems like not the right guy for you. It's time to be totally single again. Let J kn... (read in full...)

Sister, sister?

Q.   Well, the thing is I've met this guy (a year younger than me) who happened to know my sister as well. We talked a lot at the beginning of the year and really got to know each other. (Nothing ever happened in between but, you could tell there was ...

A.   8 December 2010: 1. No of course not. You didn't do anything wrong. you didn't promise, so no problems. 2. He likes a certain type of girl. You both fit that description. No problems.. 3. Very easily that could be. He's got you so worked that you're writ... (read in full...)

I like a guy 17 years older than me, should I go for it?

Q.   Hey. I have to admit I am attracted to a guy 17 years older than me and I know he is attracted to. But I don't know if I should go for it or if I should just forget it and find someone my own age. I like talking and spending time with him, but I am ...

A.   8 December 2010: The average age difference in my family of husband and wife is 14 years. Men 39, women 25. There is not one divorce in my family tree. 52/52 And most of those relationships were those sappy love matches - even after many years. I hope this helps ... (read in full...)

What do I do with his sweater?

Q.   Dear cupids: There's this guy who I really like; so far we're just friends, but a few days ago we were hanging out and he gave me his sweater to wear home cause it was cold out. Now, I'm (secretly!) a little bit shy, awkward and unfamiliar...

A.   8 December 2010: I'm surprised this answer hasn't come up yet. It was definately one of my little moves in high school to give a girl I liked my sweater. If the girl liked me, it tended to let her think about me. It's possesive thing for a guy. It may be total... (read in full...)

We've been friends for years but I don't like him "in that way..."

Q.   I have known a guy ever since I was 14. I had my first kiss with him on a party and years later we met again in school. Anyway we kept in touch from then on, but as friends rather then anything else. I met his girlfriends and we sometimes would ...

A.   13 July 2010: It was nice to hear your thoughtful response. I'll do in kind. Ok, a Personal story to really help you. This is one of my best. (Pleae read to the bottom to get the best advice) When I was 9, I had a big crush on a girl who was 8. She ... (read in full...)

My husband is a madman when he's angry!

Q.   hi, i am 23 yrs old and have been married for 3yrs.. my husband is a very nice person, he's loving, caring and loves me alot but when he's angry he gets violent.. he dont let me speak in front of him, he says i have to shut my mouth just because i ...

A.   13 July 2010: If you were from my country, it would be a very easy answer. Get out of the house, now. But being from India, it's much harder. I used to live there so I'll do my best to help. If he's like this after 3 years of marriage it's not going to get b... (read in full...)

I found a picture of a girl in her underwear on his phone...

Q.   I have recently found in my bf's phone that he has a pic of a girl in her underwear and she is one of his contacts. seeing this really hurt me and i can't seem to get it out of my head. i checked the details and it was received a month ago and by ...

A.   13 July 2010: It's very normal for a guy to get pics like this. I know many girls who love teasing guys who are in in serious relationships. But it was really stupid of him not to erase this from his phone. He should know better. If you can't let it go,... (read in full...)

We've been friends for years but I don't like him "in that way..."

Q.   I have known a guy ever since I was 14. I had my first kiss with him on a party and years later we met again in school. Anyway we kept in touch from then on, but as friends rather then anything else. I met his girlfriends and we sometimes would ...

A.   12 July 2010: Many great relationships have started this way. Especially with the feelings you have now. It's really good for the girl. That's why your Mom told you to give it a shot. Having a long time friend as a partner makes things so much easier on the girl ... (read in full...)

Does this guy deserve better than me? Or do I deserve better than him?

Q.   Hey all, I have something quite personal that I'd like to ask you about. At the beginning of the year, I found out the guy I've been involved with for seven years had an emotional affair last year. It wasn't your typical emotional affair. They'd ...

A.   12 July 2010: This one is a tough one. I agree you have thought about this enough in a negative way. It's time to stop that now. I think try and think about how this can make your relationship stronger instead of worrying about how it can hurt your relation... (read in full...)

How can I let this go?

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been seeing one another for 10 (ten) months now. I love him to bits, and everyone and anyone can see how head over heels I am for him. The only problem is I feel very insecure, because of something that happened in the ...

A.   12 July 2010: You simply have to talk with him about it. Sit down when it's a nice relaxing time to talk. Try to be as unaccusing as you can. In fact, tell him you feel guilty about your part in how it happened. It sometimes does take a long time to get ... (read in full...)

Why this coldness all of a sudden? Is she going off me?

Q.   Okay so recently my girlfriend has stopped saying I love you and hardly saying any cute.. like not making an effort you know? I mean I just check some text from 5 days ago and it's filled with: I love you's, forever, can't wait, wanna c u again. ...

A.   12 July 2010: OK a couple of things here. It is very normal for her to not tell you about problems at home. Try never to give a girl pressure about this. The last thing she needs is pressure from her boyfriend about the pressure she has at home. Do you see t... (read in full...)

I have to follow my heart and be with my love but I have a husband!

Q.   I am married to a fantastic man and 2 beautiful children. My husband has been working alot, we are trying to save money to buy a house so we are in a rental now and it seems this is the hardest time for us. It is like we just co-exist in the same ...

A.   12 July 2010: Please please go and talk to someone about this. If you're happy, then your family will be happy. Good luck.... (read in full...)

Why the double standard?

Q.   Why do guys become 'the man', and girls become 'the slut' after sex too soon? i slept with a guy that chased me like crazy and yeah I know...I shouldnt have. if he stopped contact because he thought I was easy, then how is this not a double ...

A.   12 July 2010: Please please stop listening to the hate, from both males and females. Try and see it from a guys point of veiw. You said in your post you know you shouldn't have slept with him? Why? A massive majority of men if you make him work for it, will... (read in full...)

My girlfriend cheated on me, and I can't seem to get over it!

Q.   Hi, My girlfriend of 8 months cheated on me and I haven't been able to deal with it very well. She told me on our 8 month anniversary that she went to a bar, a guy bought her drinks and she got really drunk. She ended up sleeping with him. I brok...

A.   12 July 2010: Thanks for the feedback. Again try and go cold turkey on her as much as you can for a while. And go and find someone to talk to. It's really important. You're in Canada. We spend a lot of money on mental health if you look for it. Tell the... (read in full...)

My boyfriend doesn't make any special efforts to make me happy!

Q.   hey all, I m in a weird situation n dnt knw wat to do. My boyfriend and I love each other and I know he cares a lot for me.But he is weird in many respects. Like he will not make any special effort to amke me happy. On my b'day this year..ofco...

A.   12 July 2010: I'll try and be fair about this. Men and women are different when it comes to stuff like this. It's normal for him not to remember how you responded to his proposal because his head was exploding with nervousness just by asking you. And men don'... (read in full...)

I wonder, how long does it take a man to fall in love?

Q.   I've only been in one serious relationship which lasted three years and my ex and I told each other "I love you" within a few weeks and meant it. We went through a lot during our time together and were always there for each other...we only ended ...

A.   12 July 2010: Why did you distance yourself from him? Because he was coming on too strong? If yes then tell him this. If he loves you for you, then he will slow down and let you catch up About the age difference. In my family tree, most marraiges there ... (read in full...)

I have to follow my heart and be with my love but I have a husband!

Q.   I am married to a fantastic man and 2 beautiful children. My husband has been working alot, we are trying to save money to buy a house so we are in a rental now and it seems this is the hardest time for us. It is like we just co-exist in the same ...

A.   12 July 2010: I'll try not to judge and help . I think the reason why you liked this guy, because you didn't sit down with your husband and get him to fulfill your needs. Your husband was too busy, fair enough. But he was doing it for the family. It ... (read in full...)

Please help! So confused because I'm in love with my second cousin ..

Q.   all these days i was totally keeping this with myself, say for ten long years... now i feel little relaxed that its not only me who feels this but there are so many ppl... i just wanna know, are these kinds of relationships just an attraction or can ...

A.   12 July 2010: I'm one who believes everything's a crush until it's fulfilled. Sometimes it's normal to like someone you're not supposed to because it keeps us from growing up too fast. Because it won't be fulfilled, and therefore you won't get hurt by being let ... (read in full...)

Mother from hell, please help!

Q.   hey everyone, hope you can help me sort this out. iv been dating a guy for a couple weeks now, and were getting on so well, i really like him. The one major issue thats come up now is my mother. shes such a lovely woman, but shes also too interf...

A.   12 July 2010: I think it's time to bring in another family member like an aunt, or someone who deals well with your mother. Tell them and that it's unacceptable to you. Ask them for advice. They might be able to talk some sence to her or help you with a game ... (read in full...)

I don't understand why he's become distant!

Q.   I met a boy in Montana about two weeks ago. We hung out a few times while I was there and we had an instant connection. I have never felt so comfortable around a guy in my entire life. He kept telling me how much he wished i lived in Montana, and ...

A.   12 July 2010: I think it's a simple thing. Men like to communicate differently than women. We like to use actions not words. If you text him all the time and there is no way he can act out his feelings for you, it can be very frustrating. I agree with the... (read in full...)

Why the double standard?

Q.   Why do guys become 'the man', and girls become 'the slut' after sex too soon? i slept with a guy that chased me like crazy and yeah I know...I shouldnt have. if he stopped contact because he thought I was easy, then how is this not a double ...

A.   12 July 2010: It's not at all a double standard. It's just the way guys are programmed. As a guy you want to chase. If you get the girl right away, even if you've liked her for a long time, it's a total high for you and the chasing mechanism is gone. If the gir... (read in full...)

My girlfriend cheated on me, and I can't seem to get over it!

Q.   Hi, My girlfriend of 8 months cheated on me and I haven't been able to deal with it very well. She told me on our 8 month anniversary that she went to a bar, a guy bought her drinks and she got really drunk. She ended up sleeping with him. I brok...

A.   12 July 2010: I'm sorry this happened to you. It can be a terrible feeling. But it has happened many times before, and with some steps, we can get you back on your feet. First, you have to figure out a way to see her as little as possible for the next little ... (read in full...)

Please help! So confused because I'm in love with my second cousin ..

Q.   all these days i was totally keeping this with myself, say for ten long years... now i feel little relaxed that its not only me who feels this but there are so many ppl... i just wanna know, are these kinds of relationships just an attraction or can ...

A.   9 July 2010: As somebody who was lucky enough to go to school in India, I see your point. One of the things that happens for girls is that they can be very well protected. I think this is good for a girl's heart, but can lead to some problems. I think you've... (read in full...)

*1muds11's friends

These are mutual friends, so *1muds11 has added them and they have added *1muds11!

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft

0.10937799999374!