Love outside of marriage

Here's the situation. I love my ex. I always have and know I always will. Always felt he is the love of my life. We recently acknowledge our true feelings. Problem is I'm married. Miscommunications and a broken heart lead me to my husband to marry someone I not sure I like. It was stupid, but truth is I feared being alone and most of the time I feel sorry him. I know that sounds really bad. I care for him, wish him no harm, but have always felt I pity him and I knew he loved me. But as time passes, his love feels more like a need. a need to have me and control me. maybe out of fear of him being alone. I knew how I felt when I said my vows but was too scared to back out of it. How can I back out at the last minute or at all? It just seemed too impossible. If only I could go back in time. But I hoped I would learn to love him and love would grow. The only thing that grew was a family. Now with 2 young kids 6 years into marriage, I'm left still loving my ex and think of him daily. He loves me and we are best friends and we have been friends for many many years. It's really sad to say that because your spouse should be your best friend. I hurt because a rash decision on my part has me trapped in marriage with someone I do not love and maybe only like a little. This is pure turmoil. How do I get through this without this serrously affecting my girls? Any suggestions. Please feel free to say what you will. I appreciate honesty. And am open to Christian advice

Posted on 31 January 2008 @ 11:17 (London time) - permalink
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get out now.if your ex still loves you he will be there when the pile up is over. But don't lock in on the ex for a soft place to fall. No matter what women think, guys are not that stupid. He will know that you are not willing to leave one relationship without having a plan B. And he will always wonder that if he had not locked back in to you, if you would have had the guts to leave a guy that you, by your own admission never loved.

Posted on 4 February 2008 @ 1:47 (London time) - permalink
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Thanks. You're right he's not that stupid. Truth is I think I would leave someday way in the future when I realize I couldn't take it anymore spending many years wondering if it's worse to be unhappy with someone or unhappy alone.

Posted on 16 February 2008 @ 0:0 (London time) - permalink
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Is there any way you could loose this feelings, about your ex in the future, you already broke up in the past. Sometimes we regret what we had and lost in the past, and think it would work in the future sad to say, not many do work the second time around. Why not try and forget the ex and invest more time in the relationship you have with your husband, if you hold on to the past you are correct in saying you will be unhappy for years to come. It is as if you are not willing to give your complete love to your husband, you will have to make a choice and decide. ( why not forget your ex and really give your hart to the father of your girls, it will really take a load of yourself, and work on your relationship without holding back. It may just be what is needed in your current relationship to make you happy, just my thoughts)

Posted on 17 February 2008 @ 1:8 (London time) - permalink
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